When Love Hurts

The Perpetuation of Intimate Partner Violence in Adolescent Relationships

 Abstract:  Although partner abuse within adult relationships has often been the topic of research, dating violence among adolescence has often been deemed inconsequential. Recently though, non-profit organizations and educators have identified that preventative measures instituted in adolescence could be highly effective at stopping the perpetuation of violence in intimate partnership relationships before it starts. By educating youth to pursue healthy relationships and to recognize warning signs of violence, whether psychological, physical, or sexual abuse, programs seek to reduce the number of cases of adolescent dating violence. This work suggests that psychological abuse is often times not taken as seriously as it should be, and that cases of abuse are often underreported because there are misconceptions about what constitutes unhealthy functioning within a relationship. Of particular interest was the finding that the gay, lesbian, transgendered, and bisexual adolescent community is often overlooked as far as prevention programs are concerned. Thus, we advocate for increased funding to support programs that serve to increase the understanding of partner violence in adolescent relationships in both heterogeneous and same-sex relationship with the eventual end of providing more comprehensive resources to a larger segment of adolescents experiencing abusive relationships.

Jo Lynn Stein & Meghan Miller

5/9/2008

The Issue

Violence in relationships, such as teen dating, involves psychological, physical, and sexual abuse.  These behaviors demonstrate domination while bringing harm to the victim (Wekerle1999).  Responsibility for committing abuse lies with the perpetrator as the violence is a selected response triggered by emotions.  Therefore, the perpetrator cannot rationally blame the victim for their actions in any circumstance. Although it is often assumed that women are most commonly the victims in heterosexual relationships, both women and men equally act as perpetrators in a violent relationship and the rates of dating violence are, therefore, similar across both female and male genders (Varia, 2006). 

This relatively equal distribution of perpetrator and victim roles amongst males and females does not eliminate the fact that female teens are more likely to suffer emotionally, more likely to be injured, and more likely to be sexually assaulted than males.  In adolescent relationships, though, the gender difference may be less evident when considering a developmental perspective as compared to adult domestic violence (Varia, 2006).  This is due to the fact that, in general, the size and strength difference between males and females during adolescence is not very great.  Therefore, the severity of injury is typically the same in same age adolescent relationships but may increase for females as age increase (Foshee 1996).

Psychological

Abuse can be psychological as controlling behaviors hinder relationships and the mental health of the victims.  Psychological violence can be categorized into specific groups including threatening behaviors, monitoring/controlling behaviors, personal insults, and emotional manipulation.  Threatening to hurt the victim or someone the victim cares about is one act that falls under the category of threatening behaviors in addition to beginning to hit the victim, but thenrefraining.  Throwing objects but missing and damaging some property of the victim also are considered threatening behaviors.

Monitoring, the second most common type of psychological abuse (Foshee, 1996), refers to limiting the victim’s interaction with friends and persons of the opposite sex as well as demanding the victim’s whereabouts at all times.  One study reported that 21 percent of teens had been in relationships where they were kept from seeing friends and family and 64 percent of those surveyed had a partner who was jealous and questioned where they were at all times (Varia, 2006).

As perpetrators belittle victims with name calling and insults and blame victims for their own wrong doings they are demonstrating personal insults.  The most prevalent type of psychological abuse for both males and females, emotional manipulation (Foshee, 1996), includes acts such as hurting the victim’s feelings on purpose and threatening to date someone else.  By considering these many types of psychological abuse, it is not hard to believe that, according to the Centers for Disease Control, one in five adolescents reports emotional abuse.  Meanwhile, one in eleven adolescents reports physical violence, and in another national study 32 percent of adolescents reported experiencing either psychological or physical violence (Varia, 2006).

Physical

                Physical violence seems to be the most commonly thought of abuse in relationships, and consists of a generous list of actions. Each action though, fits into one of three categories:  mild non-sexual physical violence, moderate non-sexual physical violence, and severe non-sexual physical violence.  Although physical violence is mutually committed by both genders, perpetrations of each category appear to vary by gender. 

Mild non-sexual physical violence, first of all, defines actions such as scratching, slapping, pushing, grabbing, or shoving.  Further, moderate non-sexual physical violence refers to actions such as twisting one’s arm, slamming or holding one against a wall, kicking, and biting.  Severe non-sexual physical violence includes burning, hitting with a fist or some additional hard object, assault with a gun or knife, beating the victim up, or attempting to choke the victim (Foshee 276).  Studies of college students suggest that while females use less severe types of physical violence against partners, they receive more severe types of violence from their partners than males do (Foshee 276).  Additionally, among female students between the ages of 15 and 20 who reported at least one violent act during a dating relationship, 24 percent reported experiencing extremely violent incidents such as the use of weapons against them or rape (www.endabuse.org). 

Sexual

                An act that breaks a person’s trust or threatens their safety in a sexual nature is considered sexual violence (www.womanspace.org) and generally consists of forcing one’s partner to have sex or do other sexual things they do not want to do (Foshee 278).  Basically, nonconsensual sexual activity and rape are the two prime categories sexual violence falls into.  This proves to be prevalent in adolescents as a study of eighth and ninth graders reported that 25 percent indicated they had been victims of dating violence where eight percent had been sexually abused (Family Violence Prevention Fund).

                Rape is also known by the more legal term, sexual assault.  Victims of sexual assault are forced or manipulated to participate in unwanted sexual activity.  This refers to sex without the victim’s consent or with a victim who is unable to give consent. (www.womanspace.org). An important concept when referring to sexual violence is consent, as consent is the basis for sexual relations. Therefore, only ‘yes’ means yes, and any other response should be taken as a ‘no.’  The possible victim should know that it is his or her own choice and is allowed to change their mind after they may have consented.  There should be no fear of negotiating with one’s partner over condom use or sexual activity at all.  Sexual violence hinders this as an analysis of the 2001 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance data showed that rates of condom use were significantly lower among women who had experienced dating violence (Varia).

Risks

                Relationship violence arises from various demographic factors such as race, ethnicity, and the importance of religion in the adolescent’s life while associations between these factors and partner violence may vary by gender (Wekerle 3).  Additional risk markers include family structure such as parental divorce or the presence of a stepparent.  School size and the location are important factors that may lead to violent relationships as they influence the exposure to violence.

Silence

Since many perpetrators and victims involved with the abuse of relationship violence avoid admitting to or reporting abuse, it is underreported and, therefore, the commonness of relationship violence is not realized.  This silence is due to reasons such as fear, self-blame, lack of understanding, embarrassment, or denial.  The influence of these factors increases for adolescents as time goes by and, as result, increases silence.  Varia found that the longer a young person has been in a violent relationship, the less likely they are to report the abuse.  Given this hidden nature of relationship violence, violence statistics among all age groups including adolescents are underestimated; this was reported earlier by Wekerle (1999).

Why should we care?

                Adolescence is a crucial time in an individual’s life in which to apply dating violence intervention even though a higher prevalence for partner violence occurs in young adulthood. THowever, violence experienced in an adolescent dating situation could easily become a portion of a lifelong cycle of violence. However, despite the identification of this correlation, in 2001 there was yet to be any “nationally representative studies of dating violence having focused on adolescents younger than 18” (1679 Halpern).

Since it is clear that our nation has had a slow start at recognizing the significance of violence in adolescent dating relationships it is imperative that preventative measures now be instituted during adolescence. Specifically, adolescents should be educated on ways to avoid violent dating relationships, how to identify when their friends are at-risk, and how to break the cycle of perpetuation if they have experienced domestic violence.

                The research suggests that children who experience domestic violence are at-risk of both entering into violent relationships as adolescents or adults and of abusing themselves. This is commonly referred to a “perpetuation”. For this reason, educators, parents, and public officials should be knowledgeable about the negative effects that violent dating relationships can have on future generations as well as on the remainder of an individual’s life; in so doing they can promote promote societal safety and well-being.

Existing Programs

                Prevention programs generally focus on educating youth and those closely involved in their lives on the identification of unhealthy relationships, the different forms of violence, and power/control dynamics. A comprehensive prevention program will also seek to educate health care professionals about how to screen for abuse and will educate youth about the possible negative outcomes of unwanted sexual abuse, such as pregnancy or STIs (Varia). A useful approach could be a peer leadership format, in which the upperclassman or young adults teach younger students.

                At the top of the list of national programs addressing dating violence is “The National Center for Victims of Crime,” which includes its own division to address these issues: “Dating Violence Resource Center.” With a mission statement focused on crime victim advocacy, specifically concerned with legal action, the NCVC “provides communities and programs across the country training, resources, and information to increase awareness of and commitment to addressing [dating violence].”

                Liz Claiborne Inc. sponsors an organization called “Love is Not Abuse.” Beginning in 1991 with a focus on domestic violence, this program has since placed emphasis on dating violence specifically in relation to teen’s experience with it, as the introduction page of the website states, “New Research indicates children as young as 11 are engaging in sexual activity and dating violence and abuse are part of their relationships.”

In response to the specific need of teens and young adults, one way the program seeks to end this “epidemic” is through their “national teen dating abuse helpline.” Liz Claiborne Inc. has partnered with The National Domestic Violence Hotline to produce this helpline, which boasts of its being “a 24-hour national web-based and telephone resource was created to help teens (ages 13-18) experiencing dating abuse and is the only helpline in the country serving all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands.”  Teens receive confidential assistance by trained peer and adult advocates. They can participate in live interactive chat, and will be given vital support including specific referrals to help within their hometown.

Liz Claiborne Inc. also provides a “Love is Not Abuse” Curriculum. This curriculum is specifically geared toward high school students. The goals of the curriculum are to educate teens on dating violence/abuse, address any misconceptions that dating violence is acceptable, and to encourage students to seek help for themselves or friends who are the victims of dating violence.

Operating in kind with Liz Claiborne Inc. is a non-profit organization called “Break the Cycle.” Break the Cycle provide similar preventative education and either send a representative to a school or offer their curriculum. However, Break the Cycle also focuses on youth activism, encouraging youth to exercise their rights by taking the initiative and to develop and implement their own projects for addressing adolescent dating violence. They also provide an online resource and support center for teens at thesafespace.org.

“Choose Respect” is a national program launched in May 2006 with a unique preventative mission, seeking to reach adolescents between the ages of 11 and 14. This program retains a positive approach, educating youth, teachers, and parents on the importance of healthy habits and attitudes in adolescence so as to affect the overall way in which teens interact. This method directly addresses the perpetuation of dating violence which often begins at an early age, hoping to stop violence before it starts. Special attention is paid to identification of healthy relationships and the choice that an individual has to be in a relationship that is built on respect. Key skills taught are anger control, problem solving, negotiation and compromise, assertiveness, fighting fair, understanding, listening, and being a role model.

                Our professional consultant, Mrs. Robin Downs, who is currently a private practice Biblical Counselor, directed us to a local organization called “Womanspace.” Robin assured us that although Woman is in the title, they would not turn away young people. , and in fact their site recognizes that dating violence is not specifically a gendered problem. Womanspace is a non-profit organization that provides counseling, support services, hotlines, and crisis services to victims in Mercer County. Their site includes a specific section on teens and provides both information regarding the identification of abuse, advice on how to deal with an abusive relationships, as well as local resources.

                Also operating out of Mercer County is the program “HiTops.” Located in Princeton, HiTops is concerned with many facets of adolescent health and well-being. Of specific importance to the issue of adolescent dating violence are its “comprehensive expert- and peer-led educational programs in schools.” HiTops also provides support services to groups of teens who require special attention with relation to dating violence, such as sexual assault survivors and gay and lesbian youth.

GLTB adolescents overlooked

                Iin order to further the reach and effectiveness of the programs discussed above there must be programs that include education related to dating violence within the gay, lesbian, transgendered, and bisexual adolescent community.

                There is however, one organization that focused exclusively and extensively on GLTB adolescents. “The Safe-Schools Coalition” is an international public-private partnership with a goal of reducing bias toward sexual minority students, which often escalates into violence and bullying within schools. Specifically with regard to adolescent dating violence, the Safe-Schools Coalition provides secure crisis hotlines for sexual minority youth.

                Research specifically geared toward same-sex dating relationships is fairly recent, and consequently little is known about the similarities and differences between homosexual and heterosexual adolescent dating violence. The limited amount of research that has been done has found that between 25% and 33% of GLTB relationships are abusive, a number approximately similar to that of heterosexual couples. And that the power dynamics and control tactics are also similar across sexual orientation (Brown University, 2008).

                Because sexual minority youth often experience harassment and misunderstanding from heterosexual peers they are less likely to discuss their dating relationships. Thus, the safety of these youth in regards to prevention of dating violence is of serious concern because they are often silenced by society. It is not uncommon for a counselor who is confronted with sexual minority dating violence to hold the belief that these relationships are generally unhealthy or unstable.” There are limited services available for GLTB individuals in violent relationships and heterosexual organizations are not always accommodating, especially when it comes to gay men (Brown University).

                Although there are resources out there for this segment of society, we believe that the lack of research and education of professionals, specifically educators and counselors is appalling. While research is delayed, many adolescents are suffering alone with no hope of eventual protection from unhealthy and damaging relationships.

                Although our research suggests that more and more non-profits are emerging that provide support services to gays and lesbians in abusive relationships, few of these organizations are specifically geared toward youth and the prevention of perpetuation because little research has actually been done. Coming alongside of the programs which already exist, we propose that educating the public and adolescents themselves is the best way to prevent and terminate the cycle of violence that often emerges in adolescences. However, the first step for dealing with the GLTB adolescent population is to fund research focused on this segment of the population so as to better understand their needs and how to affectively support them.

                The College of New Jersey’s Women in Learning and Leadership (WILL) often engages issues of sexual orientation and would be just the intellectual community to tackle such a goal. We propose that WILL apply for funding for research and advocacy that support programs that address the needs of GLTB adolescents.

Future Educators: Leadership and Advocacy

                Within an English classroom, it would be worthwhile to incorporate a novel into the curriculum that discusses the perpetuation of dating violence within an adolescent relationship. Poetry may also be useful in order to promote an awareness of psychological violence in dating relationships, and the many emotions attached to all forms of violence. Although it would be more difficult to include this discussion in a mathematics classroom, the prevalence of dating violence could be driven home during a statistics lesson.

                It is the responsibility of future educators, specifically secondary school teachers to provide a trusting atmosphere for our students. Although we will not be able to act on our suspicions regarding dating violence in our classrooms, it is important that we understand the warning signs and resources within the school to promote the safety and well-being of our students. Because of the research wehave done, we recognize that it is not only within our power, but part of our duty as teachers to ensure that we are capable advocates for each one of our students by continuing our own education on the subject of adolescent dating violence.